It’s really hard for me to be confrontational in a civil situation. I usually (stupidly) put myself in the middle of a problem, trying to find a solution for everyone. I don’t know why I try to do this, if its just my genetics, a power-trip, or just a stupid fat guy trying to be nice.
Tonight, I was on the receiving end of an interesting lecture/conversation about a mostly trivial issue in our neighborhood association. As I was walking home, I of course thought of great counterpoints to my faults. I never was one of those kids who could come up with the right thing to say. I always had the great comeback, five minutes after the kid mocking me went home.
I also know that I’ve never been the popular guy. I know some people will rejoice the day I put up the “For Sale” sign on our front lawn, and maybe after tonight that will happen sooner than later. But I’m here tonight, writing and rewriting a post about a conversation that made me feel like a ten year old all over again. I know I did some things wrong, but I also know that my positions are right. And I also know that people read, and talk, and wonder what the hell is the tubby guy complaining about once again.
I want to write so much more, but internally I keep fighting it off. Deleting something that may be overheated, obtuse, and stupid in the long run. Google has a long memory, and while I want to write, I want to delete more….
I’m just not a guy who thinks a piece of paper should control every single facet of our lives…maybe that’s what is wrong with me.